The core of Christianity is not theology. It is a Person, a Being of agape love, a love that is incomprehensible to the finite mind. It took me years to work my way through the mazes of conflicting evangelical theologies, and find the person of Christ at the center of it all. Finally I found Him.
I experienced Him in direct, ongoing, inner encounter. I experienced His love, I saw His vision. I heard His voice speaking regularly within my heart. I felt His emotions being fused to mine. I found myself transcending myself, as I began to become all that He is within me. I became wiser than my wisdom. I became stronger than my strength. I became more righteous than my righteousness. I became more loving than my own capacity to love. I found that God had fused Himself to me and that I was becoming all that He is, as I lived out of the divine initiative that flowed within.
I had healed the problem that Jesus had spoken of (John 5:39,40). I had allowed the theology of the book (Bible) to set the parameters through which I might personally encounter the Living God in an ongoing way. I had broken free from my marriage to rationalism and analytical thought, and had begun to experience direct inner encounter through the Holy Spirit. I had broken free from the bondage of my culture, and returned to the balance of Jesus of Nazareth, my Lord and Savior, Who lived constantly out of the flow of God’s vision, voice and power within Him (John 5:19,20,30; 8:26,28,38). Not that Jesus threw away His mind in favor of direct spiritual encounter. He used His heart and mind both to their fullest capacity, and that is what we do, also.
It is hard for the one who is married to his mind to respect and honor the one who has discovered Spirit impressions. It is so hard for the one who has learned to walk in the Spirit, to honor the one who lives in analytical thought. God gave us both our hearts and our minds so that we could live comfortably in both. That is where I seek to live.
Life is much different now. Christianity is much different now. I live out of the flow of God within, rather than out of the limitations of my mind. I have found a Person amongst all the theology, Jesus my Lord and Savior.
May each one find him!
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